April 30, 2007


Today I saw Princess Diana on the bus.

She was riding backwards, wearing that People's Princess nose, blonde haircut and that unmistakable profile. She also had the customary Princess Di dark sunglasses, Princess Di beige capri pants, Princess Di black blazer, Princess Di black moccassins (didn't Di always wear beige and black and moccassins??) and... she was casually looking out the window and chewing gum - insolently (as far as I could tell). She noticed me looking and looked back at me from behind her designer glasses. Then out the window again, chewing insolently. Back at me, back out the window..chew, chew... I was spellbound.

We got off the bus at the same stop and headed for the U-Bahn station... me following at a discreet distance... and then she Broke The Spell. She stopped at a hot-dog stand to get a Wiener!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO OVER!!!!!! The gum I was willing to go along with - I mean, Diana was a funky royal who could shoot the breeze and chew the sugar-free... but a Wiener Wurstl? Even the Louis Vitton bag and the chunky, expensive watch couldn't make up for it. Sorry lady - nice try, but no cigar.

Diana DOESN'T do hot-dogs!

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