Soundbite (London)

I know an actor in France. I'm sure you don't know him.
His name is Jean-Michel?
He's gay!
He lives in Paris! I'm sure you don't know him.
Jean-Michel?
I don't know his last name.

Yeah - there are a lot of Jean-Michel's in France....I don't know the one you mean.

[passenger on the London Underground, after hearing that I work as an actress in Paris]

Tubed conversation

Okay, so I expected to have loads to bitch about concerning London Transport... and it's true, I do, BUT, I have decided not to bitch. Rather, I'm looking on the bright side to report on what I do like about it. There is one thing I like about transport in London. I hadn't really noticed it before and perhaps it's due to it being the silly season right now, but strangers chat to each other on the underground these days. Yes, it's true. Twice I was on the Piccadilly line in rush hour traffic, jammed into the ridiculously small, rounded carriages and both times people pressed up against each other were chatting in small groups. At first I thought they knew each other, but eventually they started asking one another what jobs they did etc. and then said

nice chatting to ya

before squeezing off the train at different stops. Amazing, no?

I even got pulled into a conversation! My friend Alan* got off the train and said,

I'll call you next year!

To which the man squashed and perspiring next to me shouted at him,

That's in 22 days, mate! She's going to have to wait 22 days for a phonecall!

And thus a short-lived squish-tube friendship was born as we chatted about how many leaves a pineapple has for the remainder of my journey.

P.S. I guessed 87. The answer is: between 85 and 86. Not bad, eh?

*not his real name, to protect his innocence.

Reasons why I prefer Paris to London

Reason #1

I have just spent three days in London and either walked over, or been stopped dead in my tracks by a puddle of fresh vomit or a person vomiting on every single one of those three days. 'Nuff said. No, wait - eeeeuuuuuuuwwwww!