With thanks to Heidi Klum's ass

Or: how I hiked up a mountain with this week's TV schedule printed on my neck. Jackass behaviour was in full swing as I undertook a mega-strenuous hike up an Alp looking like a right doos. WHY I thought it a good idea to roll the TV pages up and stick them under my chin while reading the rest of the paper in the car on the way to the Alpine hiking spot, I can't really say.

Heidi Klum's ass must be to blame. There was a spread in the TV pages about Heidi's latest photo shoot for a clothing co in which she appears *almost* naked. I was saving that for later, so I parked it under my chin while I read the 'real' news. See, I didn't want to get my fingers full of printer's ink...