September 04, 2007

Rugby in France

Seeing as this Hollywood Reporter (AKA me) is stuck in Paris for the next few months (-sigh) expect to see more frequent posts about life among the Frogs on this blog. I'd been trying to avoid posting too much about 'living with the French' in the past, but living in France requires such a high level of psychological preparedness and many mental tools and coping mechanisms that all the knowledge I have gleaned should not go unread. I have decided that a blog about Tinseltown and acting is as inappropriate a forum as any other to impart these tips and tools to you, my (one and only) reader. Who knows? It could come in handy during the Rugby World Cup, starting this week!

Meanwhile, here is a list of things you may have suspected about (or not cared a hoot about, more likely) our French foes friends, but never dared/cared to ask:

1. Yes, they do French kiss in public. All age-groups do it and anywhere is fine, including but not limited to, the metro, under bridges, on bridges, pavements, stations, in your face etc

2. No, they don't all smell of garlic and stinky cheese. A lot of them smell of hallitosis and perspiration.

3. Yes, they do all smoke. If it's français, it smokes.

4. Yes, the women wear impossible heels. Even on Sundays.

5. Yes, the men make ridiculously inappropriate sexual comments to women, no matter what the context of the relationship is.

6. Yes, they have wine for lunch during office-hours. An American business-taboo is a perfectly normal occurance here!

7. Yes, they carry baguettes under their arms in the street, just like one would imagine them to do.

8. No, they don't usually wear berets. They leave that to the American expats living in France.

9. Yes, customer service is a dirty word.

10. No, I'm not joking -except about point 2.

...but we love 'em all the same...

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