October 01, 2007

You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round...

Thanks to the valiant efforts of the talented BF™ I have been made aware of a frightening fact about myself... something I was blissfully unaware of, but now that I am cognisant of it, it cannot and should not be ignored. What exactly I am going to do about it, I cannot say. (Need to formulate one of those famous POAs that people in movies talk about.)

Let me cut to the chase here and spit out my terrible confession. This is might be hard to handle, people, please don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I am an inadvertent and incessant thumb-twiddler! (believe me, I know how bad that sounds - it is that bad) Like a harmless, elderly man with a sweet-smelling pipe, white goatee beard and a pot-belly, I can be found sitting any place, any time, twiddling my opposable thumbs in my lap. The worst part is that I never know I’m doing it until the talented BF™ draws my attention to my hands (either by clapping his own paw over mine at social events, or telling me to look down).

It’s quite mortifying to look into one’s lap and observe one’s shortest, thickest digits (MS Word dictionary definition of thumb) churning unstoppably and at great speed. Clearly, I have been doing it for many years because such proficiency is not learned in a week! I can do it so fast in both directions - and change direction so smoothly - that if thumb-twiddling were an Olympic Sport (maybe, someday??) I would be the Zola Budd of Twiddling. She runs barefoot and I twiddle naked. And by naked I mean with uncovered thumbs, okay? As in, no gloves and no nail-polish for a smoother slide. Au naturel, quoi.

Voila, it’s out there now. I hope we can still be friends.....?


Goit Walemfrik said...

Hmmm, this is more serious than I thought, a thumb twiddler and by the sounds of it no amateur. As a long suffering toe curler I am in no position to really give comment or offer solace but what I can say is that thumb dexterity is a key factor in our glorius separation from the simple apes. Advanced thumb twiddling must thus be a throwback sign that you stem from the great line of arboreal primates, forest royalty so to speak. Legend has it they were able to swing and show other monkeys a variety of filthy signs at the same time hence developing the first complex visual language between species. A quantum leap in evolution you might say and possibly an explanation for your driving tendencies, monkey girl ;)

Hollywoodgal said...

Yay! Yay!
Thank you. I shall wear my twiddle with pride!