call 818 for a good time?

If you know anything at all about Los Angeles, you will have heard about The Valley.
It's a much abused place and the object of much Hollywoodian scorn. It is the valley that lies north of the canyon deviding it from Hollywood and West Hollywood. It is hotter than the rest of the city, being surrounded by canyons and mountains, more polluted - because the crap gets trapped by the mountains, cheaper to live in and has the phone code 818.

LA phone codes are an interesting phenomenon and can tell you a great deal. In South Africa or Europe (in my experience) the telephone codes on cell phones link them to certain service providers. 082 & 072 are generally voadacom, 083 and 073 are generally MTN. In France, all cellphones start with 06 and the following digit can indicate the provider. Although now that numbers are portable so you can change providers and take your number with you. What cell phone numbers do not ever indicate, however, is where you live. That is what makes cell phone in LA such a treat.

To name but the most pertinent, 310 is synonymous with snobbery and wealth: Beverly Hills, Brentwood etc. Eyebrow raising and slight head-cocking often feature prominently in the acceptance of an 310 number. (Subtext: "So you think you're fancy?!") 323 is considered very cool as it encompasses West Hollywood and Los Feliz,("Ooooh, you must be arty and hip") but 818 is The Valley. And given the Valley's status (or rather, total lack thereof) people with 818 numbers are often apologetic when handing out their number. Either they quickly explain that they may have an 818 number, but it's only because ...blah, blah, blah... or they get defensive and say: " I'm in a really cool part of the valley! And it's much warmer than Santa Monica". Hey, dude - stuff your complex back under your trucker hat - I wasn't asking about your domicile, I was only asking for your number.

On my first trip over, I had a New Jersey cell phone that my cousin had so kindly lent me. Boy... did I ever get shit for being on a 'Joisy' line! The next time I got a cell phone, I chose 310 to shut 'em all up... actually,that's not true. The guy at Cingular didn't have any more 323 numbers available and I was not going to go from being New-Jersey-confused, to The-Valley-abused... so I pretended to be posh instead.

It's A Wrap!

There is a famous second-hand clothing store in the Valley called It's a Wrap. That being what the director says at the end of a day's shooting and at the very end of the whole film shoot. Then you have the wrap party and then the gig is over. But, I digress...(wrapping into the Valley...)

It's A Wrap is the second-hand clothing store that a lot of costumes, accessories and props from movies, television shows and music videos end up in, to be sold to the public. You can find Arnie's "Terminator" outfits there, Brad Pitt's black shoes from "Sleepers" ($500), Demi Moore's Boa from "Striptease" ($300), designer dresses, jewellery, handbags and all manner of props. Each piece has a tag on it detailing who wore it, in which production and what scene (if appropriate). Some of the most famous items, like the Star Trek props and costumes, are in glass cases.

I heard about it from the costume designer on a short film I worked on and made my way to the Valley with very high hopes, thinking I might snag some cool pieces that came off the sets of my favourite films. I am a notoriously difficult shopper. A sales assistant in a boutique in Paris, upon seeing me enter, once said, "Don't tell me you've returned to make me shit, have you?" (The French talk about things 'making them shit' the way we talk about something pissing us off - only shitting sounds infinitely worse than pissing, if you ask me!) So, THAT'S how notoriously difficult I am about clothes. And yet, you'd never say so when you see what I wear. I am NOT an icon of style by any stretch of the imagination. My boyfriend explained to me that I often "wear fabrics that don't go with each other". I didn't even know fabrics could clash! Another friend broke the shocking news to me that what I wear to go out in the evenings,when I think I'm being glamorous, is usually all 'day wear'. Well, who knew?! What I am very fussy about are the way clothes are cut. And only when I think my ass doesn't look big does it make the grade. Problem is, I hardly ever think things don't make my ass look big, so I hardly ever buy anything.

Anyway..... I bought something at It's A Wrap! Yip - if it's good enough for the stars to work in, it's good enough for me to walk in. After much browsing and much trying on of garments, I settled on....(drumroll!).....a pink and purple striped, overlong scarf. You know, the type you can strangle yourself with AND still step on with ease. And where did it come from? Weeeeeelll, ladies and gentlemen, my prized possession was once worn by a FOX 11 News presenter. Oh yes, you can pick your jaw up from the floor now. My sartorial claim to fame is a FOX 11 News scarf! Now who's laughing?