sideways eating

So... just when I decide I'm giving up chocolate until Easter (sounds like Lent to you? Well, no, I am totally irreligious, but if Peas can give up booze for 2 months - and look how well she's doing - then I would like to think I can stop scoffing chocolate for just a sec here)...anyway, just when I decide to see if I can pull it off to DO it, I get a sideways KitKat eater on the metro opposite me. Jeesh! What the hell are you doing, lady?! Stick that darn chocolate-covered wafer back in your chocolate-covered cake hole and keep it there!!
Pfffffffff - some people's children.

This young urban professional with black curly hair couldn't have brought a book on the train with her, could she now? Oh no. To unwind on her way home this yuppie eats have-a-break-have-a-KitKat. But with a difference. She eats it sideways and halfways!
1) the KitKat gets turned on its side
2) it gets rammed in the mouth, off to the right, where the right canine leads the other back teeth in splitting the raised triangular chocolate bit off the flat base wafer.
3) soggy, sideways chocolate-less KitKat wafer comes BACK OUT THE MOUTH - eeeeewwwwww.
And so it goes for 4 whole wafer fingers. I was appalled. I don't believe she had any idea how close she came to a good klap*.

* slap, Afrikaans-style